Weight a minute while I catch my breath cuz it's probably in Toledo by now.

So I joined a gym.

Yeah, "Yea me!" By God's grace I have a friend who had already joined a while back. I'm now an office Black Card member at Planet Fitness. We went for the first time today and I was able to walk for 30 minutes (total) and we did some weight machines for upper body. After that we sat in the massage chair for 5 minutes and marveled at modern technology.

I tried the recumbent bike but my stomach and legs are too big for that right now. It puts too much stress on my hips trying to bring my feet that close together. Does that sound pathetic? It felt pathetic! I'm wondering if it will be the same for a standard stationary bike? I also tried the elliptical machine but the amount of weight I'm trying to... elliptic...ize(?) is just too much for my creaky knees right now. Exercising should burn, not make you feel like something is broken, right? So I walked for 14 minutes on the treadmill then tried the other two machines. When I realized I wasn't going to be able to do them right away I settled for 17 more minutes on the treadmill and some upper body weight machines.

It's a little humbling, surprisingly it wasn't embarrassing, to get on the treadmill and realize just how very much I need to be on that treadmill. (I chock that up - not being embarrassed - to the fact that there weren't a lot of people in the gym when we went, and PF has a supposed "no judgment" mantra.) I got over the humility pretty fast, however, because all I could think about was breathing and breathing and, well, breathing. I would turn up my speed and then my walking buddy would ask me a question so I'd turn the speed back down a few clicks to be able to communicate with out gasping after every syllable. I always stayed above 1.5 mph, though, until it was time for the cool down, which the treadmill computer did on its own. So in the middle of my 30 minutes I tried out the other machines and then came back and finished out on the treadmill again. Let me tell you, walking in the grocery store makes the time fly so much faster than walking on the treadmill. But the treadmill gives you more info, and I'm kind of an info junkie right now.

Speaking of info junkie, I started back on My Fitness Pal as well and I am slightly addicted to putting all my food and exercise information in. :-) It's probably the same character trait in me that makes me want to blog. Ha ha ha. I'm being diligent but not militant about things, though. It still has to be about freedom otherwise I'm going to rebel against it like I've done in the past.

I'm looking at going to gym with the same attitude: I am free to go to the gym and workout or not. It would be silly for me to pay for the membership and not go, but I'm allowed to make that choice if I want to. If I'm not feeling well one day - and I'm talking really sick, not just tired - then I'm not going to beat myself up for staying home. It's a freedom, not a requirement. It's a gift, really. It's also a great excuse to get out of the house during the day... I'll admit that my mental health was starting to suffer since I don't have a traditional 8 to 5 job and was spending most of my day just hanging out with the DD woman I live with. My goal is to go to the gym 4 times a week, and also hit the aquatic center at least 2 times a week for physical therapy for my cervical vertebrae injury/herniated discs. This is the plan, I made the plan so I get healthy, healthy makes me happy, but happiness is a choice. Ha ha ha. I'm not requiring myself to be happy. I want to be happy.

It's all about perspective.